Open when memorial gate（当记忆的闸门打开）
Hiding in the heart of everybody more or less unbeknown or what do not want to let a person know is secret, or pungent, or acerb, or from drunk, hide in a certain corner deeply, carefully bury, go rarely stab is painful it. But sometimes when the sight stir up one's feelings, when be in alone sometimes, the pluvial excessive that memorial gate resembled dam up water come out. The one act act former days appears again it is before, joys and sorrows of life emerges mind, all sorts of feelings well up in one's heart, tear blurred the line of sight.
Memory returned that ages ago time again, that agonized childhood, that frustrated anguish, what then the individual is born is helpless, then the individual cries out unripely, that alone hesitate, that fills the time of tear. Say childhood is happiness, carefree, be full of joyous sound to laugh of language. But my childhood is distress, be full of tear, domestic misfortune is to make I am born (had not been born even) be faced with by abandon. I am to be in the person did not come stealthily below the blessing, condition that accompanies without the family member worldly, my birth not only did not bring joyance to family, and bringing more land is groan.
Began the life of my drift from place to place so, live randomly, feed without law, in the cry that pays close attention to in nobody, in be hungry full a medium, silent in loving misshapenly is grown. Should see other little girl is in of parental assistant when caressing next thrive, I ever delivered admiring view countless times. How many times the tip of a tree on the month, the figure that runs to mom of village head look around to be familiar with then alone appears; Put sound to cry greatly how many times, call and cry are in valley resound, accompany me have inky night and hunger only; How many times looking forward to with eager expectancy, how many times be in a state of anxiety, how many times the surroundings with special …… makes me full tasted the world 100 condition, knew the hardship between the world prematurely, brought up me the disposition of free-standing, self-improvement, bury anguish greatly, go hard doing best oneself.
Perhaps be a destiny be destined, perhaps be a kind of coincidence, this lifetime is destined I act independently, run at an alien land. Hit Pan alone on new land, the photograph that does not have close friends is aided, not 7 kiss 8 friend support sb with hand, keep out wind and rain for me without the person, it is the tear of my wipe canthus without the person. I all the time constantly strive to become stronger, for the heart medium ideal, for the dream in the heart, responsibility that goes up for the shoulder, everything painful hide, let tear go to flow in abdomen. Setback, frustrated, blow accompanies …… all the way effort, self-surrender, bear choose over life.
Frustrated of the helpless, journey when the helpless, bewilderment when the hesitation when, loneliness confused those who let me choose is silent. Do not want blame god and man, also do not bemoan the not good of the destiny, should not complain more when be born not to meet, face reality, the road falls in the foot. “ sky will fall to hold the post of greatly then person also, suffer from its heart annals first surely, fatigue its bones and muscles, hungry its body skin, empty lack its body, what its are travel stroke chaos, his mind disturbed so bear a gender, ceng Yi its place cannot ” (I know very well I am very insignificant, very ordinary also, it is ego comfort only just) .
Everything has double sex, god is fair to everybody. In close a door for you while, opened a window for you again. Cross is fortune, setback makes I become all the more is mature. All the way harships, all the way miserable, harships sees rainbow afterwards, sunshine always is after harships. Although in front even if have 1000 mountain 10 thousand water, still face leisurely.
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